Lapse and Relapse

There are proactive things we can do that reduce the chance of a relapse. This includes being aware of ‘warning flags’ – these are thoughts and behaviours that indicate we want to go back to using the way we did and are perhaps engineering situations to ‘allow’ or enable this to happen.

Euphoric Recall

This is where you start to remember the ‘good’ bits about using drugs while glossing over the bad bits. It’s a bit like watching a good trailor for a bad movie; your brain shows you all the best bits and leaves out the unhappy ending.

Seemingly Irrelevant Decisions – (SIDs)

These are decisions that may seem irrelevant but which put you in a high risk situation. For example, it may be a nice day to walk home, but this may take you past a friend’s flat you’ve been staying away from; therefore it is important to change your route home so as not to put temptation your way.

Justifications and Excuses

Do you feel yourself returning to old habits? Perhaps your:

• Spending the day being preoccupied – thinking about how good it was the last time you took your drug of choice.
• Using a drug to ‘deal with’ hard situations.
• Spending time with people who won’t give you ‘a hard time’ for taking drugs, or who may even encourage you to.

If you have had a relapse, make the most of the information you gained from it. What were you doing/thinking when it happened? What could you do differently?

Saboteurs

There may be some people in your life who are jealous of your progress. Your success may make them feel inadequate or bad about themselves. They may deliberately (although possibly sub-consciously), want to make you fails so that they can feel better about themselves.

If you think someone is trying to sabotage your efforts or urge you to use drugs, then you may wish to encourage them to change their behaviour, or reduce the level of contact you have with them and how much you allow them to be in your life.

Remember: a saboteur won’t be there to support you in a positive way if your life goes wrong due to drugs. They won’t pay the bills; give you a job, a home, a relationship or any other meaningful activities.

It can be very difficult for family members to see you lapse or relapse – particularly if they’ve invested time and effort into helping you achieve your goals.

It can be hard for them to process their feelings because they feel powerless. Ultimately, there’s nothing they can do to stop you returning to unhealthy habits if you are determined to.

Remind yourself that the reason they are upset, or even angry, with you is because they love you and worry about you. Be patient with them while you get back on track and you will continue to have their support.

If you’re struggling or relapsing, don’t be deceptive and try to hide it because this erodes the trust in a relationship.

There’s a good chance they already know. It’s surprising how we can think we’re fooling other people, when actually we’re cheating ourselves.

Be honest with yourself about where you are at with your drug use.

Be honest with your loved ones too and ask for their support.

If you find you are really struggling to keep your drug use under control for any length of time, then it may be worth thinking about the different options you have.

For example, a residential stay can be a great opportunity to get some respite from a chaotic lifestyle,  break destructive routines, make positive changes and achieve sustained recovery.