"When Addiction Takes Hold, You Disappear"

I’m Jade, I’m 28, and I’ve been sober for fifteen months now. For ten years, I was addicted to Tramadol, a prescription drug that was supposed to help me with pain but ended up taking over my life. At my worst, I was taking sixteen tablets a day, and in October 2017, after a huge fight with my mum—my best friend and greatest support—I tried to take my own life.

“A Dangerous Prescription”

When I was 18, I had a mastoidectomy. It’s an operation where they open up part of your skull below the ear to remove infected air cells. The surgery itself was tough, but the complications after were even worse. That’s when I was prescribed Tramadol, a strong opiate to manage the pain. At first, it was just about getting through the recovery, but no one ever really reviewed my prescription properly. Years passed, and before I knew it, I was seriously addicted without even realizing it.

In 2017, a GP finally raised concerns and started reducing my dose gradually. At first, it seemed manageable. But then, everything just… fell apart. My mental health spiraled. It was like something inside me just switched.

“It’s Frightening—When Addiction Takes Hold, You Disappear”

I wasn’t myself at all. Anyone who knows me knows how close I am with my mum, but that night, I smashed up the house. I even grabbed her by the throat. That wasn’t me. It’s frightening—when addiction takes hold, who you really are disappears.

Later that evening, I overdosed. Tramadol, Pregabalin, and another antidepressant—I can’t even remember which one. I swallowed 3000mg of tablets in one go. I shouldn’t have survived, but somehow, I did.

“I Hadn’t Processed My Trauma—The Tramadol Had Numbed Me for Too Long”

When I woke up in the hospital, everything hit me. I felt hopeless. I started to see that I’d been using Tramadol to block out so much pain. My dad left when I was six. I lost my only brother when I was nine. There was so much trauma I hadn’t processed, and the Tramadol had meant I didn’t have to.

After my overdose, I was seriously ill for about four weeks. That’s when I got referred to Gwent Drug and Alcohol Service (GDAS), and from there, things slowly started to change.

“I Haven’t Suffered a Single Relapse”

For almost two years now, I’ve been receiving Buprenorphine, an opiate substitute therapy, on a weekly basis. And I haven’t suffered a single relapse since I started.

I feel like I’ve got my life back on track now. My key worker, Helen, has been incredible. For a long time, I felt like I was being moved from pillar to post—so many professionals, but no real consistency. To properly recover, you need someone you can trust, someone who’s there to guide you through. Helen was that person for me.

Now, for the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful about the future.