Pressure, Family, and Self Discovery

I’m Alan Spencer, 62, and my drinking really spiraled after I retired five years ago. I’m a father of three from Abergavenny, Monmouthshire. I worked in the police and at the Ministry of Defence. I tried to keep my drinking a secret from my wife Jan, hiding bottles around the house – but it didn’t take long before I couldn’t conceal it anymore

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“I Used to Get Up at About 4am”

I used to get up at about 4am, and if I didn’t have a drink then, I’d be shaking. The doctors told me I had to have a drink, otherwise I risked having a seizure from not drinking. It was a catch-22.

I began to cut myself off from my grandchildren because I realized my children didn’t trust me with them. I’m an alcoholic – you wouldn’t want your children to be looked after by someone who, nine times out of 10, would be drunk. I didn’t want people to see the person I’d become.

“The Pressure You’re Putting on Your Family”

Things got so bad that, at my worst, I attempted to take my life. The pressure you’re putting on your family and the outcome it’s having on them – it’s a nightmare.

After visiting the residential center, Birchwood, in Liverpool, I started my recovery. I’ve now been sober for more than two years. I believe alcohol addiction can affect anyone, regardless of your background, class, or economic status.

“Recovery is a Difficult Journey, But It’s Absolutely Possible”

Alcohol addiction can grip anyone. It’s important not to let the stigma prevent you from getting the help you need. Recovery is a difficult journey, but it’s absolutely possible. Now, I’m a better father and husband, and I love watching my grandchildren grow up.