“For Me, for Poppy.”

If you had told me a year ago that I’d be here, telling my story, I wouldn’t have believed you.

All I had ever known was sadness and brutal beatings. My earliest memories, even as a toddler, are of pain. I grew up in a home filled with abuse, assault, and fear. And as I got older, I was groomed into becoming a person I never wanted to be. Alcohol and drugs took over my life. That was who I was. I truly believed I was going to die as a foul-mouthed, drunken, drugged-up mess.

But then something changed. A window opened inside me.

“This Was Not Me!”

Deep down, I knew I had taken a turn for the worse. And I knew this wasn’t who I was meant to be. I had to do something, so I reached out for help.

With the support of the Gwent Drug and Alcohol Service (GDAS), I started my journey to recovery. It wasn’t easy. Those early days were the hardest I’ve ever known. Keeping up with appointments, facing my fears, and stepping out of the house sober for the first time in years—it was gruelling.

I was terrified of the outside world. Anxiety and panic consumed me. I had spent so long hiding behind alcohol just to be able to interact with people, even professionals. Without it, I felt exposed

.

“For Me, for Poppy.”

But I had to push forward—for me, for Poppy, and for the future I so desperately wanted.

With the help of GDAS and Gwent Specialist Substance Misuse Services (GSSMS), I was assessed for rehab. They asked me about my goals, what I wanted from life. My answer was simple: I just wanted to be a normal person again. I wanted to be part of my community.

“No Easy Ride.”

That assessment was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I poured my heart out, laying everything on the table. My GDAS worker sat across the room, silent but supportive, listening as I broke down.

The manager didn’t give me an easy ticket. She told me straight, “This is no easy ride. It’s going to be hard work.” After that interview, my anxiety was through the roof. I kept telling myself, What if they don’t accept me? What if I can’t do this?

But just two days later, I got the call—I was in. My head was spinning. Shit, omfg, this is happening.

Rehab at Brynawel was the best experience of my life. I didn’t always think that at the time—it was tough. But it became my home. The therapy groups helped me rebuild myself, shaping the person I wanted to become.

I learned self-belief. That alone was huge. I was given tools to help me achieve things I had never thought possible. Even after leaving, the support continued. The aftercare team helped me reconnect with the outside world. They linked me up with local groups, checked in with me at home, and made sure I had everything I needed to stay on track.

“Now I Help Within My Community.”

This journey hasn’t just changed my life—it’s given me the chance to help others, too.

Now, I volunteer in my community at a food bank. I’m a Peer Mentor for GDAS at The Hub, supporting staff who work with people struggling with addiction. I attend the Peer Mentor Academy with GDAS and Kaleidoscope, learning alongside others who have walked the same path as me.

I’ve even made videos documenting my progress, and I’ve continued my learning with new courses after Brynawel. And now? I’m officially part of the Brynawel team.

“I’m Looking Forward to the Future.”

Every day, I keep moving forward. And every day, my ever-faithful Poppy is right there beside me.

This is just the beginning of my recovery.